Be your own hero today

How often do you find yourself waiting for the perfect moment to quit a bad habit or start something new? How often do you find yourself saying things like, “When _______ happens, I will ______” or “If only I had more _________ then I could ________”? Why are you always waiting for the perfect timing, the perfect weather, the perfect scenario, the perfect amount of money or time? This mindset will only get you one place: in the same place you are today! Is that where you want to be next week or next year?

Sure, next week might seem like the perfect time to quit a bad habit or start something new, but do you know what will happen? Perfect doesn’t exist. Period. The week after you quit or start something new will no longer hold those same perfect qualities. The amount of time or ________ you have next week (that you were waiting for) will probably not be the same amount of time or ______ you have the following week or month and then you will utter those same words to yourself again. What?! What’s that? You’ve been through this scenario before? Me too actually, and it took me many years to figure out how to stop it and why I was doing it.

The first time I can remember getting caught in this cycle is when I quit my addiction to alcohol and drugs. For years I knew it was a problem. I knew it was bad for me, for my relationships, for my future, but yet every single day, I uttered the same words: I’ll quit tomorrow, tomorrow will be the day. Like most of us who’ve utter those words about whatever it is you want to quit (alcohol, binge eating, excessive shopping, etc.) it probably took extreme circumstances to finally take action. It’s so much easier to stay stuck and stay in the place that is familiar; even if that place is super unhealthy. It takes effort to make a choice to change. I also went on the same merry-go-round with smoking! For years I said, “This is my last pack”. I tried the patch and gum with zero success. Want to know how I changed? I made the choice. I made the choice to quit and I became my own hero. The patch was not my hero, the gum was not my hero. I was my own hero. Making a choice is such an empowering feeling. And it’s not just a feeling, it becomes an attitude and a state of mind. Making a choice to “do that thing” increases your self-esteem to a new level; to hero level.

To this day (15 and 12 years later) I still feel like my own hero with these two accomplishments. Yes, of course I didn’t do it alone. I had so much support and many resources to help me through getting clean and sober. I did research online on how to quit smoking. I had help, of course! There’s nearly nothing in life we truly do all on our own, but I was the one who made the choice to make a change. That part was all me, baby! No one can make you do anything (except maybe a judge). Action is all on you. Choice is all on you. I guess that’s the good news and the bad news! The most important part of any change is making a choice and then taking action. That’s where you become your own hero!

I’m not sure what’s tougher to be your own hero at; quitting a bad habit or starting something new. This remains a mystery to me. It’s safe to say, I’ve quit many bad habits in my life and could probably write a whole book just on that one day, but starting something new is just as difficult and scary and takes that giant thing called choice also! I’ve started new jobs, new relationships, becoming a parent and started my own business to name a few. Each and every time, I was scared beyond belief. When starting something new it’s the what-if syndrome that stops you from making a choice to start. What if I’m not good enough, smart enough, skilled enough, loving enough, skinny enough, what if I fail, what will people say…and the list goes on. The thing that propels you forward with starting is the same exact thing that propels you forward with quitting; first, loving yourself enough to make that tough choice. And once again, it’s all YOU! Love of other people is great, but it will only get you so far. Love of self is the real motivator. Please don’t get this confused with conceit. Love of self is simply knowing your worth, knowing that God created you for a reason!

It’s been almost a year since I decided to jump into my health and fitness business AND simultaneously quit my 9-5 job. Talk about the scariest thing I've done in a while. I left what I once thought was my dream job and a pretty nice steady paycheck. The second thing that quitting and starting have in common: severe unhappiness that affects your health (pain of some sort). Those two things have been my motivational common denominator (pain and love of self). I challenge you to think about why you’ve been a broken record with quitting a bad habit or starting something new: is it lack of pain (physical, emotional, spiritual) or lack of self-love? Which one are you missing?

Those two things have to be present to make a choice and take action. You can have pain (bad health, unhappiness, etc.) and still be paralyzed and not take action to be your own hero. People around you, might not understand why you’re not taking action to change. Maybe they even gave you tools and information to make a change, but you never act. Pain alone is not enough of a motivator. This is why people die of addiction, obesity and smoking. These are all painful places to be, yet many people don't change. I was one of them for years. There’s some place inside where love of self is absent. Self-worth is absent. Fifteen years ago, I didn’t love myself like I do today, but there was simply a tiny glimmer of hope. I tiny feeling that I was worth more than the life I was living. I tiny glimmer is all you need!

Be your own hero today. Don’t wait for something or perfect scenario to be the reason you made a choice and took action. What action will you take today?