How I make my New Year's resolution

Since we've just passed the momentous New Year mark and things are starting to settle down from the holiday season, let’s get real for just a moment. Truth be told, I am not a fan of New Year’s Eve, New Year’s Day, New Year’s celebrations or resolutions. It’s not that I hate it, just not a fan! In fact, I haven't made a New Year's resolution in about 15 years! I've found a better way to look at resolutions and I’m going to share it with you!

Maybe I’m not a fan of New Year’s resolutions because of all those failed celebration attempts from my twenties. You know, the ones where you have super high expectations, like my ex-boyfriend and I would meet at this really great party in some fancy apartment building and reconnect and he’d admit he was wrong and tell me how wonderful I was and then we’d kiss at midnight with noise-makers and confetti and the rest, as they say, would be history. Or wait, maybe that was When Harry Met Sally? Anyway, there’s just something about ringing in the New Year that brings expectations. And although I love the expectation of waving “so long” to the old and welcoming the new, great expectations are usually followed by great disappointment…at least in my experience.

Instead of celebrating New Year’s Day and making a New Year’s resolution, I much prefer, the simpler, less hyped-up (although it should be) New Day celebration and New Day resolution!

The only “resolution” I can think of that has ever stuck with me is the one I made to give up soda for Lent when I was about 14. Yes, I’m well-aware that Lent is much different than New Year’s but seriously, that’s all I got. I haven’t drank soda since I was 14! Isn’t that amazing? There’s just so much evil in those sugary little beverages. Sure, I can drink the hell out of some coffee, but soda, oh no, I gave that nasty habit up for Lent some 26 years ago! Man, am I good or what?

Turns out, I’m really not that good; I’m just not a fan of carbonation, so giving up soda was super simple. There ya have it…my one and only resolution (and it’s not even of the New Year’s variety) that has ever stuck. I think it’s also super important to point out what a good Catholic I once was and get that on the record (wink wink).

Some of my past resolutions (the New Year’s variety) have been to exercise more, eat healthier, watch less T.V., shop less, spend more time exploring, less time frowning and being a miserable cuss, save more money, quit drinking, quit smoking, eat less Twinkies, hang out with fewer douchebags, balance my checkbook, journal more and connect with my inner-self, be nicer, stretch more and well, you get the point. I used to LOVE me a resolution. I was very good at making them and even better at quitting them!

In all seriousness, if you are a New Year’s resolution maker and can kick the crap out of your goal, then by all means, don’t change! But if you’re like 90% of the other people you’re good-intentioned New Year’s resolution will slip through your fingers…most likely by February.

Enough with the negativity already! I want to personally give each and every person a high five for making a New Year’s resolution and also take a moment to say, “I totally believe in you! Believe in yourself and you can absolutely beat those statistics!”

We’ve well established that I hate New Year’s resolutions and suck at them, but let’s get to the good stuff. Here’s what I LOVE: new beginnings! I love second and third chances and I LOVE taking charge of improvement-of any variety. I’m a huge fan (and maybe slightly addicted) to self-improvement. I love coming up with plans to make change happen! All these things embody a New Year’s resolution, right? But do you know what they also embody? All these things embody what I like to call a New Day.

Every single day that you hear your dreaded alarm go off, is a celebration! It’s another chance to focus on the positive, to do better than yesterday, it’s a new beginning. Every single day that your alarm clock goes off, is a gift, wrapped up in a tiny bow, just waiting for you. Most of us end up ignoring the gift because we’re too busy dropping F bombs because the sun’s not up yet and the coffee isn’t made. Every single new day is the ability to resolve to do or be or act a certain way!

My take on New Year’s resolutions vs New Day resolutions could quite possibly stem from all the AA, CA and NA meetings I went to in my 20’s, but those recovering drunks and addicts are totally on to something. We each have 24 hours in a day, and seriously we’re not even guaranteed to have each of those hours! My dad took his last breath at about 8:45 am on a Monday and had no warning it was his time to move on…on a Monday! He probably thought he had all week to do whatever it was he was about to do.

The truth is, you can have a new beginning whenever you want. Your new beginning could be at 7am in your kitchen in the middle of a chaotic morning helping one kid find his left shoe and the other find her right glove. Your new beginning could be on your lunch break in your car, when you rest your head on the steering wheel and wonder how the hell you’re going to make it through the rest of the day. Your new beginning could be in the shower after you’ve had enough coffee to realize what a freaking awesome deal you were handed by opening your eyes that morning.

Do you get it? You don’t have to wait for anything…and you shouldn’t! If you’re anything like me, you’re human and you make a ton (like a shit ton) of mistakes. Some days I’m totally amazing and feel like I should be the poster child for awesomeness, and other days I want to hide under my covers like my son does when he’s upset. If you’re a little shy about New Year’s resolutions or even if you’re tackling yours with all the excitement of a child on Christmas morning, break down your resolution into small chunks…or shall I say, one day at a time?

Here’s how making a New Day resolution will change your life:

1. I'm not overwhelmed. A big goal, broken down into tiny steps is much more achievable! Go ahead, keep that amazing New Year’s resolution, but reaffirm it every single day. No one ever climbed Mount Everest in one day or just by focusing on the end goal. They get to the top by taking one step at a time and focusing on one foot in front of the other.

2. Less anxiety and stress! Today is all we got, baby. Plain and simple, we might not get the pleasure of hearing our alarm go off tomorrow. Not only does focusing too far in the future bring me a shit-ton of anxiety, but it also ruins whatever I’m doing in the moment. When I’m just focused on today, I can enjoy life more and relax a bit.

3. I feel good about myself. We all have “bad” moments, days and sometimes even weeks, but when I focus just on the day, I can see the good that occurred in that small snippet of time. I can see that the whole day was not “bad”, rather just a few moments that I milked like a drama queen.

Here’s how to achieve a New Day resolution:

Track your daily habits. Don't let that overwhelm you! Once you choose the habits you want to track, this literally takes 30-60 seconds to reflect on your day and rate yourself. Keep your tracker by your bed so you see it every night!

Break your daily habits down to match your values. Like I said before, keep your New Year’s resolution, but think about what daily habits you need to have in order to accomplish that. It’s imperative to make sure your daily habits align with your values as a human being. After all, you’re a human first, right? For example, if you value time at home with your family and your resolution is to lose a bunch of weight and go to the gym 6 days a week for 2 hours a day, more than likely that goal is not going to stick. Focus on daily behaviors that are achievable and fit your values! Maybe your new daily habits could include packing a healthy lunch, walking at lunch or doing a series of short exercises before work or after work so you’re not taking away from family time.

Here’s the daily tracker I’m using right now. By rating myself on a scale of 1-10 I can clearly see where I have victories and where I need to focus a bit of positive energy. By rating myself, my progress becomes tangible and it’s easier to see.

Make a conscious choice and effort to not get down on yourself if you have some low scoring days. Use this strictly as data about your day; nothing more, nothing less. Sure, you'll see some low scoring days (because you're human...don't forget that) but you'll also be able to look back and see the days you freaking rocked it. Use those awesome days as fuel to keep going (you know you can do it again)!

Above all else, celebrate those little victories on your way to the big goal!