It’s okay to wash the shower with hand soap

So what I’m about to write, might piss a few of you off, but I promise not to share this with your husband! Ladies, I’m just gonna be honest with you on this one; stop busting your husband’s balls. This happens to be one of my favorite sayings from when I lived in Rhode Island, but for those of you who might not be familiar, stop giving your dear husband a hard time and cut him some slack! Since my readers are primarily female, this is safe place to say we know we are the superior sex and can just give the poor men a little break on a few things.

We don’t need to read a book or take a class to figure out that men and women are completely different. And there’s no better place to see this fact glaring at you than in marriage. We both have our strengths and we both have weaknesses. God made us this way for a reason and I absolutely love it. I mean, I also can’t deny that I may or may not have day dreamed about strangling my dear husband a time or two, but the simple fact is that he excels where I lack and I excel where he lacks. It’s really like a beautiful dance of give and take, to the right, to the right, step on some toes and slide…

Last weekend, I was taking a shower, enjoying the quiet meditation of the hot water when I looked up and saw my bottle of hand soap refiller on the top corner shelf. Without taking a breath I snapped out of my gratitude meditation and mutter, “what the fuck” as I reached up and read the pink flowered label to make sure I was getting pissed off for the right reasons. Yup, sure as shit, my organic hand soap refiller had made its way from under the bathroom sink to the shower. I shook my head in disbelief. Trying to figure out why my sweet, dear husband needed the hand soap, I scanned the shower for his needs. Yup, check, he has a bar of soap. The man has no hair so he really only needs a bar of soap. So why on God’s green earth did he feel the need to use my (not so cheap) hand soap in the shower? Talking myself down from the ledge, I mentally began giving him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe, he wanted to some extra moisture or maybe he wanted something nicer smelling? “Aw forget it,” I thought, there is no logical reason for him to use that soap!

As I got out of the shower, I made sure to take my time getting dressed so I could tone down the bitch meter in his favor. I knew logically, that the hand soap was not something to get in an argument about and that Ken always has the best intentions. After all, it was just hand soap (I kept repeating), no one was harmed in the use of the hand soap.

After composing myself, I went to the kitchen to find him enjoying a quiet moment, when out of the blue, I burst his quiet bubble in the sweetest tone possible, “Honey, what’s the hand soap doing in the shower?”

As if I just asked him why he was breathing, he replied, “I cleaned the shower.”

It’s hard to tell from a blog or social media, but I have the world’s worst poker face. Every single emotion is written all over my face, which might actually explain some of my wrinkles! More than likely I met his response with a giant, teenage-sized eye roll and maybe even a snotty gasp. Lord only knows what really came out of my mouth at that time, but judging from his defensive response, I was probably a bit of a witch. Immediately I wanted to erase the last 30 second exchange of words and facial expressions and back peddled with a quick, “okay, okay thank you sweetie, I appreciate you doing that!”

Does this at all sound familiar? How many times has your husband tried to do something nice and you acted like it’s not good enough or he just went about it all the wrong way? Men and women are different and that’s exactly how God made us. Maybe your guy doesn’t feed the kids the “right” stuff or fold the towels right, or put the toilet paper on the roll right. Well the latter is legit, there’s definitely a right and wrong way to do that one. Unless you married a jerk, your guy has good intentions and probably the way he did something is just fine, we are just a bit too particular…in my case most of the time.

We took a marriage seminar a couple of years ago called, Laugh Your Way to A Better Marriage, which can be seen on YouTube! Not only was it hilarious but the guy explained stuff in such a clear way that it’s virtually impossible not to have a better marriage after seeing this and taking it to heart. Before going to this seminar, I can remember getting my panties in a bunch about so many things, which not only caused me stress but needless arguments in our marriage too. Today I still get my panties in a bunch about a few things, like the expensive organic hand soap, but I’m quick to realize I’m being a bit dramatic and apologize for it. I used to focus so much on all the stuff he did wrong, that I never gave him a chance to do all the amazing things that he does right! No doubt marriage is tough and it’s like anything else in life, it takes constant work and care. Some days we don’t get it right, but on the days that we do it’s the best gift we could ever have.

Love your husband for who he is, not how he does things, and cut him some slack. If we criticize too much they will shut off from us. If you’re anything like me, you’re the Domestic Director in your house, so next time your hubby jumps in where he sees help is needed (a dirty shower), let him help and be grateful. This absolutely takes practice and obviously nothing I’m perfect at, but I keep trying because I married him for many many reasons as I‘m sure you did yours!