The truth about time management

I think we’ve all heard of this and probably even said it at some point. I’m talking about the concept of time management. Heck, I even have it on my resume under skills: “time management”! But can we really manage time? Is that something that’s even possible? We each have the same number of hours in a day. Lately, I’ve been trying to teach my almost six year old son the concept of time. No doubt it’s a tough thing to teach kids that age, but it dawned on me last week that I could learn a thing or two from what I’ve been saying to him!

“Buddy, we can’t change time, it just keeps on moving even when we don’t,” I say as I point to the clock. “We have to leave the house when the big hand gets on the 12 and the little hand is on the 8…do you see? We’re standing still but time is still moving.” I’m greeted with a silent stare. I pause and realize I need to stop talking before I overwhelm him. The concept is clearly not sinking in, and I don’t blame him one bit! I think even as adults the concept of time is a tough one to grasp. Then on top of it, we’re supposed to manage it somehow?

How often do look at the clock and think, “I have plenty of time”? Only to be caught off guard an hour later with how little time you actually have, left wondering where the heck the last 60 minutes went. Poof, it seems like those precious minutes simply evaporated and you’re left staring at the clock like a perplexed 5 year old. Or how about the scenario of writing a to-do list in the beginning of your day, only to get to the end of your day and see one out of 15 things actually completed? Or even worse, not one thing completed? This makes me want to scream the way my kids sometimes make me want to scream out of frustrations for not listening! It’s happened to me time and time again (no pun intended). So what’s the problem? Where do we go wrong? Forget the whole nonsense of time-management and get in the mindset of self-management. Below are the ways I have learned to manage myself instead of time. Using these tactics helps reduce my stress and anxiety, not to mention makes me feel a bit more accomplished and calm.

Stop multitasking

I used to pride myself on the fact that I was a multitasking hero and make fun of my husband for his gross inability to do so. Seriously though, he can’t even listen to me babble and make an Amazon Prime purchase at the same time. I used to think that was SO lame! I mean, I could seriously be cooking dinner, folding laundry, doing dishes, cleaning out a closet, talking on the phone, meal planning and posting to social media all at the same time. Only amateurs and feeble-minded souls confine themselves to one measly task at a time, am I right!?? Yup, that’s totally what I used to think. Today I have seen the light though, my friends. I have seen the light and walked towards the single-tasking light of life.

Here’s what I’ve come to realize about my superwoman multi-tasking days. I got ZERO things actually accomplished. At the end of the day, not only would I have nothing checked off my list, but I’d have a messy house, be exhausted, kids who just wanted my attention and weird social media posts (okay fine, sometimes I still have those)! When I worked in the corporate world and got pulled from task to task every 30 seconds, I’d end most days feeling frustrated and like a complete failure for not meeting deadlines. Do you know where the term “multi-task” actually originated from? It’s a term that was created to describe what the very first computer could do! Are you thinking what I’m thinking? Yeah, I know, “I’m not a freaking computer…I’m as human as they come.” So stop this nonsense that society has put in our head that we have to be some sort of supercomputing-woman. You’re a woman. Yes, you are super and you can compute the hell out of some shit, but those things together…nope! Set yourself up for success and stop thinking you can do everything all at one time. You’re not a computer.

Be realistic

Say what? Some days I don’t even know what reality is. There are days it totally feels like I’m in some sort of hidden camera practical joke show, or even worse, some sort of nightmare that I just can’t wake up from. It’s completely tough to know what reality is, exactly. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve woken up at the butt-crack of dawn, chugged a pot of coffee and written a to-do list the size of my arm, only to get to the end of the day with 2 of those things marked off and fully feeling like a failure for not living up to my own expectations I set for myself. Boo hoo, sound at all familiar yet? You know the likelihood of you getting interrupted with daily tasks is about the same likelihood of you rolling your eyes when you do get interrupted for the 15th time. So do yourself and your self-esteem a giant favor and choose one-three things to complete for the day. This way you are sure to feel like a rock star when you cross one or two things off and you won’t put unnecessary pressure on yourself to be some sort of unattainable superhero.

Prioritize

One way to alleviate the trap of doing everything is to prioritize. Go ahead and write the to-do list the size of your arm, but this time number them in order of importance. I have a tendency to do the easiest things on my list first. This tactic allows me to mark things off my list, but much of the time the most difficult or time consuming ones are the most important and should be at the top of my list. Doing the easiest stuff first is just a form of procrastination for those tasks that or most important! So, number your list and make sure to start with the most important task!

Time yourselfThis is one of my favorite things to do. Using a timer to complete tasks does two things. First, for those tasks that you really hate doing, it’s nice to say, “I only have to do this for 15 minutes” (or whatever time you choose). I have to use the timer when I clean the bathrooms because Lord in heaven I’d rather scoop cow shit in the barn. Make sure to choose a small amount of time so you don’t get discouraged. Chunking up a task is a fantastic way to see that you’re making progress and to know that there’s a light at the end of the shitty task tunnel.

I often use this tactic with my kids when they are doing something big like cleaning their pigsty of a bedroom. A task that seems insurmountable, when broken down into little bits, suddenly seems achievable. My kids will complain and whine and act like they are incapable of cleaning their own bedroom. They will actually say they don’t know how, kick and scream and conger up some believable fake tears too. With the timer technique, I can help them focus and calm them down saying, “You only have to do this for 10 minutes.” After the 10 minutes, they are able to see the progress they made, often times even finishing the task completely. Second thing the timer technique helps with is focus. Tell yourself, for the next 15 minutes, “I am not permitted to check my social media, answer texts, take selfies, watch TV, change my music selection or go down some rabbit hole of closet cleaning.” You’ll be amazed at how much you get done in a short amount of time. Often I get so much done in that allotted time that I want to keep going, so I simply set my timer again. If you must though, go ahead and give yourself a break, just remember to set yourself a timer for your break too! Hint, how many times have you opened up Facebook and “poof” and entire hour is gone? Um, are you starting to see my point of managing yourself instead of time?

Schedule breaks

Giving yourself a break actually strengthens your focus when you get back to your task. It’s really important though to set yourself a timer for your break! Many of us are not used to taking breaks or focus our attention on one thing at a time for that matter. We are so used to letting our attention go in 15 directions at one time, that focusing on one thing might seem weird, so that’s why breaks are important!

So let’s all collectively throw out this notion of time-management. We can’t manage time. It keeps on going no matter what we do! Managing yourself and your focus and setting good boundaries will help you feel like a success when completing important tasks! Next time you “run out of time” or don’t complete anything on your to-do list, take a few moments to be honest with yourself. I know I’ve done this and it’s been a huge wake up call. From my experience, I got sidetracked with social media, or let myself go into a rabbit hole, or just plain took on too many tasks at one time rendering myself completely useless. Like so many “issues” that we have in life, this one seems to have the same common denominator: me and you! Strive to change your thinking about what exactly it is that you’re trying to manage.

Tell me what your favorite technique is above or one that you use to manage time…um I mean yourself!