Never ever ever do THIS!

There was never one moment in my adult life where I thought I would be living in the country with cows and goats and chickens “Oh my!” There was never a moment I thought I would be excited about purple overalls or to learn how to milk a cow. Even though I grew up in the country and am super thankful for having that experience, I never really aspired to live in the country as an adult. That’s the funny thing about life though, sometimes (maybe most of the time) it tells us where we’re supposed to be instead of where we think we should be. You must be willing to pay attention to the signs and the possibilities. I’m learning to never say never and take the “blinders” off when it comes to my plan vs. God’s plan.

There have been countless times in my life where I’ve eaten that infamous word: NEVER.

There was that time before I had kids when I said I’d never stick my kids in front of the TV for too long or God forbid, feed them corn syrup. Guess how I parent now that I have kids? You got it, the boob-tube has been my babysitter more than a few times while I let my sweet angels eat a non-organic, corn-syrup filled sucker. Or that time I said I’d never use formula when I was nursing my first born. Nursing was so easy, I just didn’t understand why everyone didn’t do it. Can you guess what happened with our second kid? Yup, nursing was super difficult with reoccurring bouts of mastitis that resulted in turning to formula about 5 months in. Guess what? Kid number 2 is a totally healthy and shows no adverse effects from that evil concoction called formula. Or that time I said I’d never be able to workout at home because I would be too distracted, plus you know, people who are really serious about fitness only got to the gym. Guess where I don’t hang out anymore? Yeah, the gym and I’m the healthiest I’ve ever been too. Oh and perhaps my favorite never moment is that time I said I’d never move to a little po-dunk town in Wyoming…because, well, it’s Wyoming.

The Universe (God) has a way of showing us exactly where we belong and what we need to learn at the exact perfectly crafted moment. It was about 7 years ago that my husband, Ken and I were looking for a new house. At the time we were living in a great little started home in a quiet neighborhood surrounded by lots of people and the hustle and bustle of city life. Our goal in looking for a new house was to move further north so we could split the commuting difference between our jobs. At the time Ken was commuting an hour every day and missing family time.

For a very long 8 months we looked for a new house with no success. Every single time we found something “good enough” we didn’t even get the opportunity to make an offer. They were just going under contract too fast for us to make a move. “Why was this so hard? Why were we not finding what we wanted?” we would wonder on a daily basis. It wasn’t like our list of demands was that big. After all, we had basically whittled down our new house desires to four walls with plumbing.

After a rough day of seeing tragic house after tragic house, we had a light bulb moment that came in the form of a tasty never sandwich. As our kids were playing on a playground, taking a break from the “don’t touch that” hell that parents are all too familiar with when gallivanting from place to place, Ken and I were talking about yet another housing defeat. When, without any warning (like my mouth was being taken over by some much smarter version of myself), I blurted out, “What’s wrong with moving to Wyoming? Why not try it?” Seriously though, how did this come out of my mouth? It was just 2 years earlier I told Ken I’d NEVER move to Wyoming. I mean, why would I want to live in a state where there’s more cows than people?

Now, I realize how stuck up, judgmental and close minded I was being. In fact, reflecting back on most of the times I used the word never, judgement and close mindedness were at the forefront each and every time. Each time I spewed the word never, it was ego that had taken over; a state of mind where I was the ultimate all-knowing being with zero room for learning…UHG I throw up in my mouth a bit when I think of that woman today.

A short four days after that conversation on the playground, we put an offer on the house we live in today! Plus, exactly 2 weeks before our moving day, I landed a new job! Perfect timing. Timing I could have never orchestrated on my own: house of our dreams in four days, new job with the perfect amount of time to give a notice at my current job and start date for the new job three days after moving! What what??!! Listen, when it’s meant to be, it’s just meant to be.

It might be obvious to you, but I’m kind of a slow learner. Okay, maybe stubborn is more accurate. It takes me a couple times to learn a lesson before I actually get it. Needless to say, do you know what I finally learned from this? That’s right, never say never. That word has been completely banished from my vocabulary. I mean, as much as it can be because I’m human and still let it slip from time to time. But you better believe I am so much more aware of that nasty word popping out of my pie hole today than ever before.

Saying never not only blocks possibilities but it cuts us off from learning too. It cuts us off from empathizing with others. It cuts us off from experiences that can change our life and from understanding the world around us. Never, is a fairly sad and ugly word.

Never almost stole my new found peace and quiet. Never almost took away my dream in the country that I didn’t even know I had. Never almost took away God’s plan for me. Country life fits me like a homemade sweater on a chicken. The Universe knew exactly what I needed. It knew I needed to waste time staring out my window at the beautiful golden landscape. The Universe knew I needed to lose track of time in the solitude of this peaceful life. It knew that my kids needed to grow up making up games with rocks and sticks for hours on end. It knew that I needed to feel the strength of these Wyoming winds to remember who is ultimately in charge.

I didn’t know any of that. I didn’t know what I needed. I didn’t know this IS my dream come true! I was chasing a poorly crafted dream of the insecure person who had something to prove of my youth. Because I was insecure with something to prove (lethal combo BTW) I crafted an uninspired, ho-hum, obvious “dream”. The insecure part of me chose an obvious plan because I didn’t want to fail. I wanted it to be easier than going off the path. The part of me that had something to prove chose the uninspired path because I wanted to show that I could do what others could do. Sure, I was doing honest work, raising great-ish kids with a fantastic husband, but I wasn’t really living. I was going through the motions, never really truly experiencing the beauty and joy of the present.

So go ahead, eat your own words. Most of the time the taste will go away after you experience the joy of your new experience or feeling. Eat the word never so often that you feel full and satisfied. Eat the word never and open your mind up to new experiences, new ideas and loving people for who they are (flaws and all). Throw away your judgments, your preconceived notions and open your heart and your mind to possibilities and experiences that could change your life.

Tell me about a time that you ate a big fat never sandwich!!