See yourself through your child’s eyes

Do you have regrets? Hang ups about how your body is shaped? Insecurities about your killer dance moves or wish you could just once complete a Pinterest craft that doesn’t suck? Maybe you cringe when you hear the sound of your recorded voice, or try so hard to be fashionable but always fall a bit short. We all have our hang ups and insecurities, but what would you think of yourself if you saw yourself through your child’s eyes?

A couple of weeks ago, the kids and I were in the bathroom doing their hair for picture day. Ian was practicing his smile and Ivy was telling him all about picture day because, well, she’s the big sister and that’s what she does! There was a moment when they started arguing like siblings often do. I was in a good mood and as if to say, “Not today, Satan” I started singing Row Row Row your boat…opera style. It stopped both of them in their tracks and they started laughing hysterically and then jumped in with me, singing loudly and ridiculously. After a bit, we were done singing and everyone forgot what they were arguing about. A rare moment of silence surfaced as we continued getting ready when Ivy told me that I had a pretty singing voice. My response was laughter of course. I mean, if you’ve ever stood next to me at a birthday party, you know that I am pretty tone deaf and even though I’ve sang that song a million times, I have no idea what key to start in!

It’s so dang easy to zero in on negative ideas about yourself (even when they seem harmless) , but what’s the point? What good comes of these silly (often negative) ideas? Shortly after Ivy told me I had a pretty voice, I was done doing her hair. I did a simple little braid on the side and used my big curling iron to put some volume into her hair. Added some hairspray and voila, picture day ready and she was beaming from ear to ear. Immediately, she said, “Momma, you should be a hairstylist”. Again, I laughed and replied in a silly high voice, “Really? Well thank you!” My response was a bit better with this compliment than the previous singing one, but only because this one seemed like, in a split second, the Universe painted a crystal clear (beautiful and amazing) masterpiece of how Ivy sees me through her eyes.

The rest of the day I spent thinking about that moment. Flashes of Ivy playing dress up in my clothes; staring right through my soul at bedtime and whispering I love you, momma; hearing her compliments of how I make the best mac and cheese ever (it’s Annie’s box mac and cheese BTW); her sweet voice asking me why I wear makeup; remembering that I do the best ponytail on the planet and really realizing that the way she sees me, is the way I should see myself.

There’s a lot that I’ve done wrong in my life. I have failed at many things and let people down. I’ve not lived up to my expectations of myself, ruined birthday cakes, set food on fire, yelled at my kids and ran into the garage door with my car. I’ve sat in my car and repeated affirmations before going to a social event, I’ve let people down, I’ve quit on myself before, I’ve cried over feeling like I don’t have friends. I’ve felt not good enough, not skinny enough, not quiet enough and not articulate enough. Do you know what this all makes me? It makes me human. I’m human. But do you know what it makes me when I dwell on this stuff; the stuff that’s imperfect? Again, it makes me human. I think we are all guilty of this from time to time, but the best part is that we can choose to dwell on the many many amazing things about who we are, instead!

Kids don’t see that stuff. Your kids see you in a pure light, in the light that you’re meant to be seen in. Kids see you in the light that I believe God sees you. Kids see your beauty, your talents. They see all of that through the love you show them. This is exactly the way we should see ourselves, too! When we look at all the negative shit, we’re living in a place of the past or the future. The land of "could have" and "should of’s". This not only creates a space of self-loathing but of anxiety and stress too. Sure, we all have flaws, but when we focus on what’s right instead of what’s wrong, life becomes lighter, more enjoyable, more peaceful. It becomes like how we see our kids playing. Life becomes like the way we see our kids ride their bike through a mud puddle, legs out to the side, screeching with joy and excitement to do it again. Life becomes focused and peaceful, like when a child is playing in the sand, intent on building a sandcastle, happy as can be to be getting her fingers dirty and blissfully unaware of what’s happening outside of her sandcastle bubble.

My kids see me as having talents and special powers. They see me much of the same way they see themselves right now at 8 and 5. They’re full of confidence, simplicity and the purest of love. The next time you have one of those innocent “tainted” thoughts about yourself, be aware of it and work to change it. The way you change those negative thoughts is with affirmations. If you say to yourself (or out loud) “I am a horrible cook” try changing it to, “I am better at cooking every day”. If you say, “I’m a horrible singer,” try saying, “Singing brings me joy and makes me smile.” Even though these things seem super harmless, they’re still tiny negative thoughts in your head. And a bunch of tiny negative thoughts add up to a giant ball of negativity.

Start noticing how your kids see you today and appreciate those things about you. Appreciate and love yourself and how you make the best boxed mac and cheese because that’s how your kids see you. Make your life joyful and beautiful today by seeing the beauty in yourself! I would love to know the things your kids compliment you on and love about you. Please comment below!