The Single Most Important Lesson I’ve learned While Homeschooling

The "me" of six years ago, would not have been capable of homeschooling my children. My perspective on my children, education, my own abilities, and parenting was fundamentally different then. My relationship with God was also in a different place. Back then, homeschooling would have been beyond my reach. 

I vividly recall longing for Monday mornings, the relief of dropping my kids off at school or daycare and finally getting a "break." While I've always loved my children, my mindset at the time aligned with a common societal view: kids are a burden, requiring constant sacrifice and putting our own lives on hold. I'm not sure when this narrative took hold, perhaps coinciding with the feminist movement. The message was clear: being "just" a mom and having a family wasn't enough; we should aspire to do or be something "more."

Yet, a part of me felt a pang of sadness each time I left for work. But that's just life, isn't it? Both parents work, and someone else cares for your little ones for eight or more hours a day.

Ironically, I hadn't even wanted children for a long time. My husband and I initially shared the same vision: a child-free life and happily ever after. It wasn't until somewhere around my 30th birthday that I felt the undeniable pull of my biological clock. Homeschooling was never even a consideration.

So, what changed for us? It wasn't a sudden shift. Our homeschooling journey began in 2020 out of necessity. Our son was in the first grade and duaghter was in the fourth grade. We felt strongly that children shouldn't have to wear masks, so we made the temporary decision to homeschool. My initial approach was to replicate public school at home. I meticulously researched curricula, created elaborate spreadsheets, and even set alarms on our Google Home to mimic school bells. We recited the Pledge of Allegiance, had scheduled recess, lunches, and snacks, and enforced strict rules about talking during schoolwork.

This was my only frame of reference. As a product of the public school system, I lacked exposure to alternative educational philosophies. Unsurprisingly, that first year was far from enjoyable. I often found myself retreating to my closet, overwhelmed and questioning my sanity and ability to teach my kids, longing for the day the mask mandate would be lifted, so our kids could go back to public school.

By 2021, while things had calmed somewhat, the mask mandate remained. Feeling stir-crazy, we started attending homeschool activities regularly. This period was pivotal for my growth. I connected with other homeschool moms, mostly listening intently as I felt like an outsider. I heard their diverse educational philosophies, their stories of curriculum failures and adaptations, and their honest frustrations with their children along with triumphant stories.

I distinctly remember the relief of hearing these experienced homeschoolers voice the very feelings I was grappling with. What's more, is that I heard them talk about how they overcame obstacles and the passion they had for their children and their education. At one point, I might have blurted out, "Wait, so it's normal to occasionally lock yourself in a closet and worry you're ruining your children?" I probably got some amused and puzzled looks, but until then, I felt utterly isolated and unsupported.

Crucially, around the same time in 2020, I felt a strong prompting to read the Bible –

something I'd never done before. On top of the chaos of 2020, my husband and I were navigating a challenging period with a failed business and a lawsuit (which thankfully was eventually dropped). I've heard that crises either draw you closer to God or push you away. Thankfully, we turned towards Him. 

The final piece of our homeschool puzzle fell into place when we attended our local homeschool convention. I was astonished to discover that Wyoming had enough homeschoolers to warrant a convention!

In short: reading the Bible + connecting with other homeschool moms + attending the homeschool convention = a completely new understanding of homeschooling, education, and raising children! This brought joy to a process that is sometimes messy, and definitely not linear, which this type A personality really thrives off of.

In essence, homeschooling isn't about the location of education. It's about recognizing that God entrusted us with these specific children to raise, guide, and educate. It's literally a miracle in action!

Psalm 127:3 beautifully states, "Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward."

Deuteronomy 6:6-7 instructs us, "And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise."  

Proverbs 22:6 advises, "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it."

It was only after shedding my public school "programming" and nurturing my relationship with the Lord that I began to experience genuine joy in homeschooling my children. Before that, it felt like a chore to be endured. Now, I understand the immense gift I've been given.

I can now embrace the relaxed mornings, the joyful "chaos" of my children's laughter, arguing, singing, banter and the constant messes that are simply evidence of a life lived fully at home. My children, too, have been "deprogrammed." They use the restroom when needed, take breaks when frustrated, do school work in virtually any location and understand that delving deeper into a topic is valuable; education is not just a box to check. They learn at their own pace, which is sometimes slower than I’d like and sometimes they amaze me at how fast they learn a concept. They are taking ownership of their education, realizing that focused effort leads to earlier completion and more time for their passions.

But beyond curriculum and academics, homeschooling is about building deep relationships with my children and bringing our family together in a way that I don’t think we had when we public schooled. Yes, I want my children to be academically successful by societal standards, but far more importantly, I want them to cultivate their relationship with God. I want them to have a firm foundation in a biblical worldview, understanding how God wants us to live, rather than conforming to societal norms.

The single most important thing I’ve learned homeschooling in the short five years is if you understand that God has given you your children, then He will equip you with everything you need to educate them. Without that understanding, homeschool would be an arduous, intimidating, monotonous process devoid of joy. I would have sent my children back to public school the moment the mask mandate was lifted in 2021, had my perspective not changed. 

Let's be honest, homeschooling is the most challenging endeavor I've ever undertaken and I do believe ANY parent can do it with the right mindset and understanding. It's a relentless, 24/7 commitment with little rest and often feels thankless. Yet, it's also the most rewarding. Witnessing your child grasp a concept they've struggled with is incredible. Having your child confide in you with a problem or concern (unrelated to school) is an absolute gift I wouldn't trade for anything.

There have been many times I've wanted to quit. My children, at different points, have asked to return to public school. To make homeschooling work financially, we drive older cars, rarely eat out, forgo expensive vacations, shop at discount stores for clothes, eat leftovers, and keep the thermostat low in the winter. Society might see these as sacrifices, but I pray and believe that one day we will see the fruit of our efforts and understand that the real sacrifice would have been sending them away to government school.

In conclusion, I must emphasize that while homeschooling isn't for everyone, perhaps it should be. Your heart needs to be in the right place. You must have a clear understanding of why you are homeschooling and that God WILL equip you with everything you need. It's too significant a commitment to undertake without a strong belief and a deep desire to work hard and cultivate meaningful relationships with your children.